New Airline Charges-- "Onion-style"

After American announced they were going to start charging $15 for their first checked bag because of soaring fuel prices thanks to Big Oil's Greed, The Onion, one of the funniest papers around, had their own little column about new charges we can expect from other airlines.

UNITED-- $25 seatbelt rental fees for passengers who don't bring their own.
MIDWEST-- $35 to sit in the passenger compartment
JETBLUE-- New fee structure for wait times on the runway: $150 for under two hours, $75 for under 4 hours
FRONTIER AIRLINES-- $20 penalty if passenger is not wearing coonskin cap
CONTINENTAL-- $100 reduced-fare tickets for standing-room-only passengers
SOUTHWEST-- $10 to touch the captain
VIRGIN-- $30 fee for booking a flight with another carrier

How about $2 for that REALLY, REALLY little bitty pack of nuts or chips.
$5 an hour chair rental while waiting for your delayed or canceled flight.
Five bucks for a warm, in-flight beer. Wait, they already do that. Never mind.

The really sad thing is that it is about really getting this bad.

Those Funny Folks at THE Onion and Airlines. --RoadDog