It's Them, Not Me: CEOs Vs. Working Stiffs-- Part 1

OK, it's Comic Corner from the August 12, 2010, Chicago Tribune featuring Second City's Seth Weitberg. But part of it is true about Hewlett Packard's CEO Mark Hurd resigning for doing bad stuff. I'm laughing, but boy it hurts.

Here is Weitberg's comparison between his leaving and those of the regular Moes his dealings have also cost them their jobs.

Mark Hurd (MH) is first and Working Stiff (WS) is second.


REASON FOR LEAVING:

MH-- Forced to resign after company discovered inaccurate expense reports while investigating him for allegations of sexually harassing former actress and outside marketing consultant Jodie Fisher.

WS-- Laid off when the company has to downsize to cover golden parachute of outgoing executive.


SEVERANCE PAYMENT:

MH-- $12.2 million

WS-- Allowed to keep the money in your pockets


OUTSTANDING OPTIONS:

MH-- Deadline extended for exercising them, allowing Hurd to purchase up to 775,000 HP shares. (This could make him considerably richer is the stock market goes his way.)

WD-- Cheryl from accounting never got back to you about going out to dinner, so consider that one to still be on the table.

I've Got Three More Tomorrow. --RoadDog


REALITY: I got so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security,retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Afghanistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.