For the last two weeks, downtown Spring Grove, Illinois, has been terrorized by a rogue tom turkey who has popped up in unexpected places, frightened old ladies and children, snarled traffic along the busy thoroughfare and prompted a massive turkey hunt by Spring Grove's finest.
The wandering bird was finally apprehended this past Friday for birdwalking across Blivin Street near US-12 near Tommy's Sports Pub. Police believe the bird had been inside hassling young ladies and had had more than a beakfull of libations and beer nuggets.
Even so, the police had a high-speed chase with a lot of darting, dodging and gobbling. Traffic on US Highway 12 was blocked for an hour, causing a several mile back-up.
The securely-tied bird, after suggestions of dinner, was turned over to the Illinois Department of Natural Resources for sentencing. Since no humans had been harmed, it was decided to let the terrorizing bird go in an undisclosed DNR area.
Meanwhile, the search for a suitable name for the bird continues from the Carriage House Pottery and Art Gallery with names such as Fred, General Gobble, Fearless and most offered, Tom, flooding in.
No IDNR spokesman was available for comment on the turkey's new home, but employees were seen patting their bellies, looking satisfied and picking their teeth.
Hey, Pass the Dressing. --RoadDog
Being an account of some things I'm interested in, what I'm doing, and reflections on my past, especially music.
Listen to this man. Seven years of college, you know. Trying to reason with 2020 and, now, 2022.
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